The compatibility question you haven’t been asking

A handy/silly guide to the early stages of this sort of conversation.

Do you like to feel safe or scared? Do you like to feel respected or degraded? Do you like to feel seen or objectified? Do you like to feel desired, or used, or worshipped? Do you like to feel in control — of yourself, of your partner, of the situation? Do you like the feeling of power, or trust, or devotion? Do you like to approach your partner as a caretaker, or a servant, or a supplicant? Do you like the feeling of struggle and contest — and do you like to win or to lose or to take turns? Do you like to be praised or insulted? Do you like to wait in anticipation? Do you like to be rewarded or punished? Do you like to be treated with tenderness or with contempt?

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