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I wake up, if this new state can reasonably be called “awake,” and roll over to turn off my alarm. I need to pee. The alarm is distressing, but not as distressing as not having an alarm and risking missing a day of potential utility.

Time to inventory. Am I…


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There are a lot of different ways to have relationships, and a lot of names for the kinds of relationships we have; this is especially so in the land of ethical nonmonogamy. One of my favorite non-monogamous relationship designators has long been “comet.”

A comet is someone who isn’t a…


Photo by Anatoli Styf from FreeImages

One thing that I’ve seen a lot of people really struggle with when they’re first starting out with the whole polyamory/ethical-nonmonogamy thing (and even when they’re not just starting out) is forming and maintaining healthy, positive relationships with their partners' partners.

There’s some good reason for that: those relationships can…


Photo by John Frenzel from FreeImages

— “I’ll never fall in love with you,” I warn them
Some laugh, some smile, some walk away
But what I mean is:
I will not love you more tomorrow than I did today

— My love is not a flame:
It will not scorch,
It does not smell of smoke or…


So you have a new person and you’re trying to suss out whether not it’s a good idea to spend some naked time together. What do you ask each other?

Well, you’re both responsible people. You know to ask if they currently have other partners, and when the last time…


You have not earned it. You aren’t special enough, or smart enough, or good enough, or needy enough, or pitiable enough to have extracted it from me. I do not like you enough to be kind to you, and there’s nothing you could do to change that. …


These are dark days. As we sit at home, doing our daily risk assessments, doing our best to strike the balance between being responsible and staying sane, anxieties run rampant. Uncertainty abounds. The days blend together; the nights are dark and full of terrors; time loses all meaning. …


In the midst of the most disruptive global event we’ve seen in decades or generations, looking at where we are and how we got here, I’m struck by a thought I just can’t seem to shake.

The United States of America has enjoyed a long period of staggering prosperity, together…


It’s become something of a truism that progressive groups self-sabotage with factionalism and backbiting and purity testing.

When any new progressive rises to prominence or gets some time on the mic, there’s an immediate clamor of “but they’re problematic!”, and the concomitant rejoinders of “there’s no perfect candidate,” or rough…


If you’ve spent much time on various dating apps, especially if you have the “nonmonogamy” filter on, you’ll have come across a lot of profiles belonging to couples. Many of these, you may have noticed, share three traits: the pictures are almost exclusively of the woman, the profile is run…

Peter Kovalsky

Lawyer and translator of legalese into plain English. Also a cishet white dude trying to unlearn a bunch of baggage.

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