A different flavor of paralysis — I think most of us have, at one time or another, experienced executive dysfunction — the struggle to do the thing we know we should be doing (or, in most cases, the thing we should already have done). From what I’ve come across in neurodivergent spaces and discourses, there are…

Inside a boot sequence — I wake up, if this new state can reasonably be called “awake,” and roll over to turn off my alarm. I need to pee. The alarm is distressing, but not as distressing as not having an alarm and risking missing a day of potential utility. Time to inventory. Am I…

I want to be a destination, a soft place for partners to land — There are a lot of different ways to have relationships, and a lot of names for the kinds of relationships we have; this is especially so in the land of ethical nonmonogamy. One of my favorite non-monogamous relationship designators has long been “comet.” A comet is someone who isn’t a…

I learned all I need to know about relationships with my partners' partners in the office — One thing that I’ve seen a lot of people really struggle with when they’re first starting out with the whole polyamory/ethical-nonmonogamy thing (and even when they’re not just starting out) is forming and maintaining healthy, positive relationships with their partners' partners. There’s some good reason for that: those relationships can…

— “I’ll never fall in love with you,” I warn them Some laugh, some smile, some walk away But what I mean is: I will not love you more tomorrow than I did today — My love is not a flame: It will not scorch, It does not smell of smoke or…

So you have a new person and you’re trying to suss out whether not it’s a good idea to spend some naked time together. What do you ask each other? Well, you’re both responsible people. You know to ask if they currently have other partners, and when the last time…

You have not earned it. You aren’t special enough, or smart enough, or good enough, or needy enough, or pitiable enough to have extracted it from me. I do not like you enough to be kind to you, and there’s nothing you could do to change that. …

Or: Finding the sublime in the banal — These are dark days. As we sit at home, doing our daily risk assessments, doing our best to strike the balance between being responsible and staying sane, anxieties run rampant. Uncertainty abounds. The days blend together; the nights are dark and full of terrors; time loses all meaning. …

Or: The hidden lesson of COVID-19 — In the midst of the most disruptive global event we’ve seen in decades or generations, looking at where we are and how we got here, I’m struck by a thought I just can’t seem to shake. The United States of America has enjoyed a long period of staggering prosperity, together…